I wish I could say that my roommate made me watch it, or that I was so engrossed with what I was doing on my laptop that I didn’t notice it was on in the background. But unfortunately, I will publicly shame myself and tell you that my roommate recorded it on our DVR and then I went and VOLUNTARILY WATCHED IT.
Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, I have a re-cap for you, in case you haven’t seen it. Because it is, after all, entertaining if nothing else.
Vegas, baby, Vegas
The girls go to Las Vegas with Ben, which is obviously the most romantic city in the entire world.
As Ben says, “It’s a place that people do find love.”
This makes me wonder if Ben has ever actually been to Las Vegas. I know a lot of people get married in Vegas, but they don’t typically find love there (No, that stripper from the Rhino is not in love with you). They typically find love elsewhere and then go there to seal the deal. I mean, what’s next, Amsterdam?
But alas, the ever-romantic bachelor and his leading ladies head to Vegas for this episode.
The girls are told that they are to perform in a talent show in front of a live Vegas audience. Sounds like tons of fun, right? Not scary or mortifying AT ALL.
I always like to think of what I would do if I was on the show, competing with 25 other women and pining over one man’s love. I mean, I definitely wouldn’t be on the show under those circumstances, but I like to pretend sometimes. So if I were one of these lucky ladies who was just told that we are going to be performing a “talent” in front of a live audience, what would my talent be? I honestly have no idea, but here are my options:
- I can touch my tongue to my nose, and I have double-jointed fingers, so maybe I could stand up on stage and just showcase that weirdness.
- I can pitch! I used to play softball in high school and I’m pretty sure I could throw a few good pitches again (never mind how long ago that was)
- Dress up like a Vegas showgirl, jump out of a cake, and then strut around awkwardly on the stage.
Unfortunately, Olivia totally stole my idea on that last one so I would have been screwed had I done that too. Phew!
So after this little clip, Olivia then freaks out and acts all insecure and psycho on Ben, because she thinks her performance was a total flop and now he must think she isn’t “marriage material.”
Personally, I didn’t mind her performance. I thought it was pretty funny and it showed a lot of confidence that she could go up there and make fun of herself. I totally would have done something similar and added a few “you know you want this” looks and shakes. She should have just joined in on the laughter and not regretted a minute of it. Who cares how stupid you look? Must I remind you that you are one of 25 women on a television show competing in a talent show for one guy’s affection?
Ben “fake” marries the virgin so he can….?
Oh come on, tell me you didn’t think that as you were watching this. Ben does everything he can to make Becca, the one girl on the show who is saving herself for marriage, feel like she’s getting married – he has her dress up in a wedding dress, show up at a wedding venue to officiate marriages with him, and then he later says his “vows” to her.
Smooth, Ben. Smooth.
The L word
Nothing like putting the L word on the table way, way too soon. Here we go with Olivia again. In addition to her freaking out over her stupid performance that was meant to be funny and was funny, Olivia then throws the love bomb out there. She said she is falling in love with Ben, which makes me think homegirl has never been in love before and might never be, after this episode.
YOU DO NOT LOVE HIM. There. Moving on.
So there’s a set of twins on the show (because why wouldn’t you want to go for the same guy as your twin sister?), and thankfully, Ben lets one of them go in this episode. I have no idea how he chose between the two, but I suspect it was an “eenie meenie miney moe” type of situation.
“Dating twins has been difficult,” Ben says. (Hear that, men of the world??)
One of the weirdest things about this episode is that one twin threw the other twin under the bus, saying things to Ben like, “I feel like I’m having a stronger connection than what she’s having,” and telling the camera, “I really need Hailey to go home so I can focus on my relationship with Ben.”
AND THEN BEN SENDS HAILEY HOME.
I wonder what the twins’ night was like last night as they watched the episode together.
Don’t worry, twin who didn’t get chosen. You’re actually in the better position here.
Spoiler Alert: At the rose ceremony, Ben tries to build up suspense by calling Olivia’s name last, which she takes as a “save the best for last” gesture that only she understands. The two girls who go home are unemployed Rachel (I’m not being mean; that’s what it says under her name on the show), and Amber, who immediately takes her heels off because the pain of wearing heels is so not worth it anymore if you’re sent home.
Both girls of course bawl their eyes out because they will of course never find true love again.